sparepartsbox | Let's give the boy a hand.

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Let's give the boy a hand.

[Another week, another murder, another twisted execution. Three weeks this had gone on now, and it was getting harder and harder to stay positive about it. At the end of every trial, John always told himself that this would be the last time. That it wouldn't, couldn't happen again. And every Friday, he was proven wrong.]

[Why was it always Friday, anyway?]

[He guessed, on the plus side, a majority of them had been accidents. That was...heartening sort of, he guessed. At least most of them hadn't actually been cold-blooded killers.]

[He wasn't sure if anybody had some kind of post-trial cheer up planned this week. But frankly, he didn't really care. Unlike last week, there was no uncertainty in John's mind over whether or not he wanted to be alone for a while. The answer to that was "absolutely." So once they're released from Monobear rock, John immediately takes to the skies. He doesn't really have a particular destination in mind, so when he winds up on Chandler Beach he has no real complaints.]

[He lands in the sand, immediately curling up on himself. And for a while, he stays like that. Just curled up in a ball on a private beach on an island where technically all the beaches are private because NOBODY LIVES here but you know what...]

[But eventually, the ball method of coping stops helping. Actually, it only takes about five minutes for John to jump to his feet and start angrily shouting at the sky. Mostly indistinct, angry swears at nothing in particular. And all those rocks and shells he's been saving up in his sylladex ever since he got it back are finally coming in handy. Because he sure is hurling them as hard as he can into the ocean. Thisis one heck of a temper tantrum he's throwing at...the moon. Since there's nobody else here.]

[As usual though, his tantrum doesn't last long. He burns himself out even faster than he got bored of the ball method.]

FUCK!!!

[With that final swear, the loudest of all of them, John flops backwards into the sand. His glasses go flying, landing in the sand a few feet away but John gives precisely zero fucks about that. It actually makes it easier for him to cover the top half of his face with his arm as he lays there, panting and resisting the urge to just start crying in frustration now.]

[He regrets ever complaining about his time on the ship now. He'd take that over this hellhole of an island any day.]

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[ It's more than enough to get his meaning. And also sand on her hand, thank you, John. Aradia doesn't seem to mind, though; if anything, her return smile is the warmest and least creepy he's ever been lucky enough to see from her yet. ]

See you tomorrow, then.

[ And she will pchoooooo right out of there.

Or not really, since she isn't John. But she will take off, and all that can be seen of her then is the obvious red sparkling fairy dust trail her flight path leaves behind, to shimmer in the air for a few moments. ]

Yeah, definitely. Sleep tight.

[He waves a little as she flies off, watching the glitter drift through the air. He can't help but think about how oddly seasonally appropriate it is. And that just makes him laugh a little bit to himself.]

[Everything is fucked up, but somehow Christmas glitter is something that can still bring him some semblance of glee.]

[Or maybe he really has cracked, after all.]

[John stays on the beach for another five minutes before he takes off as well. He has every intention of hopping right in the shower but a certain note on is door stops him. Jimmy is upset, a shower can wait.]

[Sure enough though, the next morning John keeps to his word. He knocks on Aradia's door before breakfast. Shave and a haircut, two bits. Because he can't just knock on the door like a normal person.]

[ Unfortunately that knock is lost on her. She doesn't know the song, John. All the same, the door swings open almost immediately, though Aradia's not behind it.

The door is glowing red, and so is the girl currently sitting crosslegged on the bed she never uses except as a glorified chair, braiding her hair back. ]

Good morning, John! Think the supermarket is going to be back up and running again? We were sort of doing poorly on the food front, last week.

[ And preferably not human, she supposes.

...Given what he's here to talk about, that cheerful greeting isn't very mood-appropriate, but Aradia figures they can get down to business when the door is shut and eavesdropping can't be a thing.

Except by the dead, but. ]

[John closes the door behind him, moving to just kind of...float awkwardly in the middle of the room. Should he just make himself comfortable, or what? Given the subject matter, he's almost not sure if he wants to/should.]

God I hope so. I'm still kicking myself for not getting there before that whole mess to restock my sylladex.

[Because you should always carry snacks with you. Especially fruit snacks. This is the best use of sylladex space.]

Do you want some help with that?

[He gestures to her hair. Not that she's doing badly, but he always kind of figured braiding your own hair was harder than having someone else do it. That was sort of the impression he got from Jade.]

[Excellent. Small talk. Hair braiding. Good use of time that has nothing to do with talking about murder.]

I don't think it would have helped. I did restock my sylladex almost immediately before it closed, remember...? And none of the foodstuffs were there after.

[ She didn't think it was worth mentioning at the time because everyone was upset enough as it was. Though the only people who would have really understood how upsetting that was, to have something suddenly gone from your sylladex...well, John was one of those people.

The offer to help braid her hair - John, do you know how to do that...? - gets a bright smile, though, and she waves to the bed. ]

Yes, absolutely! I'm just trying to get it out of the way. There's so much of it. Maybe I should cut it or something, sometime...

[ Is John really going to braid her hair as they talk about murder, because she'll bring it up pretty soon if you don't, Egbert. ]

[Yes, he is apparently going to braid her hair while casually discussing murder. Because he's moving to sit down on the bed behind her and taking her hair in his hands.]

[And you'd be surprised what sort of skills a guy can pick up after three years on a ship with his sister. He sure hadn't known how to braid BEFORE that.]

Really? That's...

[Kind of disturbing? How did he get something out of Aradia's sylladex?]

I'm guessing none of the ghosts did anything, right? They weren't feeling oddly mischievous as ghosts sometimes are?

[Okay, apparently we're not talking about murder just yet. Gotta talk about food first. And start braiding. John, quit stalling it's not like you both don't already know the answer.]

[ Thanks in advance for that, Jade. Aradia drops her hands from her own attempt, letting them fall into her lap for the time being.

And yes, disturbing. That's exactly the word she was looking for. ]

No, not at all. They're all...very determined to help us succeed in beating Monobear, more or less.

[ Seriously, even the less helpful ghosts hate that guy.

Who's shocked by that news...? Which actually does help segue into this. ]

I'm not sure if they won't stop trying to help me soon, though. I think at least a few of them will definitely still help, but if I'm actively plotting something like that...Regardless of the reasoning.

[ Though at least half of them murdered people or plotted to murder people as well, so.

Honestly, she'd prefer to just let everyone on the island in on the plan if she thought they would 1) believe John and Aradia about Homestuck powers and 2) be willing to bet their lives on those and 3) if Monobear wouldn't intervene if they all tried to pull that off at the same time. ]

[Well, he walked right into that one. Oh well, he needed to stop beating around the bush anyway.]

Mmm...well. Luckily you're the only one who can hear them and we have my sylladex as far as storing relevant items will go. I make mistakes with mine sometimes, but at least I have more control over what comes and goes from it.

[Most of the time, anyway.]

[John falls silent, just working the three strands of her hair together for a little while.]

So...I guess that answers the question from last night then.

[...]

It's a yes.

[ And that's how the world ends (again). While two gods sit on a bed and John braids Aradia's hair.

All in all, probably not what anyone would have expected.

Aradia's silent for a little while, too, even after the confirmation. Although when she speaks up again, it's probably not with whatever John might have expected her to say first. ]

Let's avoid burning me alive, then. I think I've done that to the point of it being overdone. Or "well done"?

[ Like, once was pushing it, but then she did it twice and do we need a third time, really? ]

I mean, if we have to I suppose it's all right, but that's just a personal preference.

Edited 2014-01-03 22:08 (UTC)

[John's hands stop moving entirely.]

...did you really just?

[Inappropriate time for puns. Again. They really need to stop doing puns when murder is involved.]

I can't believe you, oh my god. [He's laughing a little bit in spite of himself, though, going back to braiding.]

But fine. No burning. No stabbing either. I know I probably don't have as much say, all things considered, but been there. Done that. I wouldn't wish it on anyone so I'm certainly not going to do it anyone.

[Once again, his hands stop moving. Though for different reasons this time.]

Do you have a hair tie?

[Apparently he's done.]

It seemed appropriate! At least, I saw it, and I couldn't help but say it? Is that weird?

[ A little bit, yes. But there's a grin on her face even if he can't see it, and she hears you laughing, John, so...

It's not a total waste.

She does pass back a hair tie - red, of course - upon being asked for it, with no fuss. ]

I think stabbing has also been rather done to death. Besides, most of us ought to know all the locations knives could come from at this point...so that might make it easy, which is the last thing we want to do.

So, no burning and no stabbing. We can always go and check out the new island to see if we get any inspiration that way.

[ No one ever wants them to get creative together ever again ever. ]

Nah. I mean...yes. But also no? Like it was a terrible time for a pun but at the same time I get it.

[Laughs are magic. Even terrible ones.]

[John takes the hair tie with a quiet word of thanks and wraps the end of her hair up. Ta da!]

Yeah We can do that after breakfast. It might look weird if we don't show up for that. [Since...they are among the people who always do show up.]

And...again, I shouldn't be making demands here but as much as I don't want to kill you, I want to hurt you even less so...

[So basically something relatively painless. You know, not horrifically violent but also hard for the others to figure out.]

John, you're allowed to have stipulations, too! This needs to be something you can get through the trial of.

[ Because if you don't graduate, this will be an entirely pointless endeavour that could have been avoided, man.

Like, wow. That would just suck. ]

You're right, it would. I was planning to go there after you got here and we talked, really.

[ Although...hm, going back to the stipulation thing. She's just bouncing around topics here. ]

We could attempt to drug me? I suppose? Then it shouldn't hurt. I'm still not really sure what would effect me from the pharmacy, though.

[ Honestly, she hadn't even considered that, but if it makes John feel better why not? ]

Yeah...maybe. Hmm...actually, that probably rules out poisoning too doesn't it? Crap.

[That would have been simple, relatively hard to trace...maybe painless? Possibly? John's never been poisoned, he isn't sure.]

Well, maybe we can do a little experimenting before hand. We probably shouldn't try and kill you WITH some kind of drug. Just in case we accidentally...do it with a half baked plan, you know? So maybe just find something to knock you out, then do something else...

[Wow they are actually talking about this. This is happening.]

We should also maybe read the labels. It might be bad if we dosed me with something that made me inclined to murder you, or something?

[ Like maybe they should just avoid that?

Just in case?

They are trying so hard, here. ]

Though obviously we shouldn't report taking anything from there to Usami.

Oh obviously, yeah. Last thing we want is a repeat of...

[Coulson and Locke. Wow. He still doesn't really like talking about that one, good to know.]

Especially since, you know... [He wiggles his fingers in front of his face and makes some silly 'pew pew!!' rocket ship type noises.] Your whole telekinesis thing.

[He may have his MANGRIT back now, but he's pretty sure that won't stand a chance against crazy psionic telekinesis powers.]

Yes, it's really not a pleasant way to die.

[ ...Actually, you know what, she doesn't want to talk about that one either, although by this point he has a run down on the ways she died and all because of other threads, so.

And while he hast MANGRIT, something using super strength would probably be really suspicious, so...not that. ]

We have time to sort of mess around with that and find something that works, though. We should probably shoot for before the weekend, and before...

[ Well, people always die on Friday, and if that is the case it better be her this time. The other murderers and murderees can just get in line, and then they will make that line never exist. What could go wrong? ]

[Nothing. Absolutely nothing can go wrong here, this plan is brilliant in every way. And it only gets more brilliant as the week goes on.]

[Sure enough, a visit to the fourth island gave them just the inspiration they'd been hoping for. It had been an offhanded joke at first; pulling a Snidely Whiplash and tying Aradia to the coaster tracks. And somehow, by the end of the day, that was their actual plan. Clearly it was brilliant. It was indirect, he could drug her beforehand so she hopefully wouldn't feel it, it was bizarre and how the hell could anybody figure out how it had been done?]

[They'd take one of basically every sedative from the Pharmacy and spent several days testing, eventually finding one that would knock Aradia out so fully that he death would basically be painless. They'd figured out a way to put weight in the car to be sure that it ACTUALLY killed her and didn't do a half assed job.]

[But they didn't stop there. They could make it nigh impossible to solve with a little unwitting help from Madison. Just telekinetically steal her bracelet, get some of her hair from a chair in the retaurant, leave an empty vodka bottle in Aradia's cottage with a fake drugged water bottle...]

[It would look like Madison had invited herself over for drinks, drugged Aradia, dragged her off and tied her to a coaster. Madison wasn't Jimmy, people might actually BELIEVE this frame job.]

[By the time Thursday night rolled around, everything was perfectly in place. And as far as they knew, none of the other students were any the wiser as to what they'd actually been doing. John waited until the dead of night to make his way over to Aradia's cottage, sylladex full of everything they needed. He rapped very lightly on the door, the same tune as always. Even if Aradia didn't get it (and truthfully, John had no idea where it originated from either) it had become a useful signal.]

[ It's true; John's used the shave and a haircut, two bits every single time he's knocked on Aradia's door thus far. She'd finally asked him about the pattern the other day, and this time she actually hums along as she opens the door - gently, so as not to alert anyone. There's only a lamp on, and she hurries John inside so they can set the scene at the cottage.

It shouldn't take too long. They've planned everything out as best they can. They had to account for everything they could, in order to, well...get John to graduate.

And then save everyone. You can't do something half-assed with that goal in mind.

Of course, being sedated nearly every night had been a pain (especially when it didn't work, and some of them were just plain weird) and the ghostly commentary wasn't always welcome, but...well, it was finally the last night. And hopefully this would make everything right again. She'd have done what she was made to do, once again.

It's only after John gets shooed inside and the door shuts again that Aradia speaks. ]

I finished up everything on my end!

[ Meaning...well, she hadn't mentioned the thing Mukuro wanted her to do, because they were going to win this, but she'd done it anyway. So she just meant "loose ends", here. ]

[John seems slightly distracted as he slips inside, but in a good enough mood. He might be slightly rethinking this now that the hour is upon them. Or maybe he's just nervous.]

[Possibly both.]

Good, good. I've got everything we need, triple checked to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything.

[He pulls an empty vodka bottle out of his sylladex.]

Even emptied this already. Not inside me of course, I poured it out in the ocean earlier, uh anyway...

[He crosses the room and sticks it under the desk before pulling out the pre-prepared waterbottle and tossing it into the trashcan from the other side of the room. He really probably should have looked in there before he did this, though. He kind of left incriminating evidence in there.]

[Oops.]

Ta da! Step one is done.

[ Mistake number one: made gloriously by nerves and neither of them thinking to do something as simple as taking out the trash. Good job, guys.

While Aradia notes the distraction, she doesn't comment, for the moment. She just looks around her hive - sorry, her room, hands on her hips. The envelope of motive pictures is still tossed on the dresser, as well as various seashells and trinkets she's picked up over the past few weeks, but...

All in all, it looks good. The first "clue" laid out (and she feels badly about it, but they had to pick someone believable and if they win, Madison will never know, and John can try to fix her timeline, too, to save her).

This is the last time she's ever going to see this place.

After a second, she glances up with a grin. ]

Then onto step two, yes?

[ Since they don't have anything to pick up - they're carrying it all unseen, or at least John is, since it seemed best to let him handle the carrying-stuff part - there's nothing to take along with them, and Aradia reaches out to grab John's hand, tugging him along and back out of the cottage. ]

Fly there?

[ This will be the last time she ever flies again. Other hers in other times will get a chance, of course, but she's just doomed, herself. ]

Edited (missed a comma WHICH NO ONE BUT ME WILL EVER CARE ABOUT BUT) 2014-01-04 02:25 (UTC)

Hehe, yes, of course.

[WOULD THEY REALLY WALK? I mean aside from the chance of being seen that would also mean that they'd have to WALK. Gross. Walking.]

But um...before we go. There's one thing I have to do. Call it am improvised, last minute half step.

[He lets go of her hand after she's pulled him to the back of the room, pulling out a red, sparkly party hat from his sylladex. The kind with an elastic strap on the bottom. He reaches forward, placing it on her head, strap and all.]

There. Now we're ready.

[ Their anti-walking club is sort of ridiculous but...well, GROSS. WALKING. Who would ever choose to walk? ]

Hm?

[ Aradia glances back at the "one last thing" comment. They've covered everything, haven't they? Method, evidence, loose strings...there's absolutely nothing left to do that she can think of, and confusion is clear on her face, although there's trust there, too.

If he saw something she missed...

And then he pulls out the party hat, and her eyes widen. Aradia stands still as he puts it on, sliding the strap under her chin, and still she has to reach up and touch it, to be sure it's there. This is definitely a party hat, yes. ]

...But you always said corpse parties are morbid and creepy and should be avoided.

[ She just sounds puzzled, right now. This...was not what she was expecting at all.

Give her a second and it will swing right around into joy, but. They've spent weeks on this, you totally glared at her when she eyed the party aisle after the first murder and banned discussion of the topic, John. ]

Well, yeah. They are. They're totally morbid and definitely creepy but...maybe I was wrong about that last bit. Maybe, in this case, they shouldn't be avoided.

[At that, he takes out a second hat, this one blue, and puts it on his own head. Because if you're going to do something, you should do it properly, right?]

I know it's not much of a party, with only two people, but...maybe we can have some kind of belated un-corpse party with everyone once everything is fixed.

[Not that anybody except him would even remember all this but...]

[Look, he tried, okay. He figured this was the least he could do for her in this completely fucked up situation they somehow managed to get themselves into.]

[ Instead of answering straight away, Aradia just steps over and hugs John. She is apparently going to make a habit of this, now. Since...well, the last time she died she definitely hugged a close friend beforehand, too.

But that doesn't even register, really. It's just that John really has told her no about the corpse party thing every time, and she's more than aware about his feeling on death (which are, actually, pretty much the opposite of hers so far as Aradia can tell) but he has not only given her a silly sparkly party hat but is also wearing one.

It's a silly, stupid thing that no one else is ever going to know about and there's absolutely no point to it except to make her happy, before she dies.

John Egbert is a really good friend. No wonder he was the humans' leader. ]

...Thanks, John! [ After a second, Aradia will let him go, grin in place as she adjust the hat on her head. ] It's perfect. And yes, I think they'd like that. Even if they wouldn't remember...well, I think I'd like to meet them all over again, without all of this.

Let's give the boy a hand.

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