sparepartsbox | Let's give the boy a hand.

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Let's give the boy a hand.

[Another week, another murder, another twisted execution. Three weeks this had gone on now, and it was getting harder and harder to stay positive about it. At the end of every trial, John always told himself that this would be the last time. That it wouldn't, couldn't happen again. And every Friday, he was proven wrong.]

[Why was it always Friday, anyway?]

[He guessed, on the plus side, a majority of them had been accidents. That was...heartening sort of, he guessed. At least most of them hadn't actually been cold-blooded killers.]

[He wasn't sure if anybody had some kind of post-trial cheer up planned this week. But frankly, he didn't really care. Unlike last week, there was no uncertainty in John's mind over whether or not he wanted to be alone for a while. The answer to that was "absolutely." So once they're released from Monobear rock, John immediately takes to the skies. He doesn't really have a particular destination in mind, so when he winds up on Chandler Beach he has no real complaints.]

[He lands in the sand, immediately curling up on himself. And for a while, he stays like that. Just curled up in a ball on a private beach on an island where technically all the beaches are private because NOBODY LIVES here but you know what...]

[But eventually, the ball method of coping stops helping. Actually, it only takes about five minutes for John to jump to his feet and start angrily shouting at the sky. Mostly indistinct, angry swears at nothing in particular. And all those rocks and shells he's been saving up in his sylladex ever since he got it back are finally coming in handy. Because he sure is hurling them as hard as he can into the ocean. Thisis one heck of a temper tantrum he's throwing at...the moon. Since there's nobody else here.]

[As usual though, his tantrum doesn't last long. He burns himself out even faster than he got bored of the ball method.]

FUCK!!!

[With that final swear, the loudest of all of them, John flops backwards into the sand. His glasses go flying, landing in the sand a few feet away but John gives precisely zero fucks about that. It actually makes it easier for him to cover the top half of his face with his arm as he lays there, panting and resisting the urge to just start crying in frustration now.]

[He regrets ever complaining about his time on the ship now. He'd take that over this hellhole of an island any day.]

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I'm not suggesting that, exactly. [ Except she...is. There's no getting around that, but it's hard to think of it as "murder" when she's suggesting exactly what she's suggesting. How many thousands of times has she made this decision? How long since coming here has she suspected she might be just another doomed offshoot? ]

I'm suggesting we scratch the session. Just think of me as your Beat Mesa.

[ Which would involve murdering her. A little bit. At least she's not grinning when she comes around to that. Or...suggesting he murder someone else? Is that better somehow? ]

If you got back, you wouldn't need to take care of Junko Enoshima, either. If you pointed one of the Aradiabots in her direction, and told them what would occur, they would...see to it that the timeline never went off-track.

[ There is sudden annoyance, then, as Aradia actually looks back over at him. ]

This wasn't meant to happen, you know. There's no way it could have been. It's not like I'm not surprised sometimes by things that happen, but this...it involves three people who should be somewhen else entirely. I know you're not...you're not a time player, so I suppose it is asking a bit much for you to knowingly doom yourself.

[ Actually, this might be easier to ask Dave to do, but unfortunately the other player who might get throwing time player bodies at a problem until it went away wasn't, you know. There. ]

I've said I'm done with dying, and truthfully, I'd like to be, but...this is what I'm made for. To straighten things out. And it's the only way I can think of to ensure everyone lives, including those who have already died, as well as those who might come after this.

[ Of course the only thing she can think of is completely insane, have you been paying attention to your interactions with trolls and/or time players at all, John? ]

...But obviously I can't make you do anything. [ ...Well, she probably could try, but she...won't. ] And the only way it would work would be if you would. You're the only version of yourself who can do what you can do, I think. No version of me can do that.

[ You are the only person in the universe who touched the intangible treasure thing you weren't supposed to be able to touch.

Sounds like a dare to me. ]

Edited 2014-01-02 23:38 (UTC)

W-woah, wait! Wait. Back up.

[Okay, maybe John didn't quite get everything that Aradia was hinting at. Because he sure as hell didn't pick up on the fact that she was offering her own neck up on the chopping block.]

[Some of the color drains from his face and he laughs nervously. It's almost as though he's forgotten how to breathe properly.]

Ahaha...okay, obviously I missed something here because...you can't seriously be asking me to kill you. I must have some crazy wax buildup in here, [He sticks an index finger in each ear, rotating them as though cleaning out his ears.] you want to run that by me again?

[John have you been paying attention to anything at all.]

I certainly wasn't suggesting you kill someone else. [ She's confident that if he could get away with it, it'd be a win condition for all of them, dead and alive...

...and the most logical way to "get away with it" would be for her to bet he one to die. That would be more controlled. And it hadn't even occurred to her to suggest someone else for the role of dying.

Perhaps that said more about her than she would like, but contemplating it would be pointless at the moment. ]

You told me that you could change things, at home. I believe that. [ She has to, in order to suggest this. ] ...And we spoke about it, didn't we? If you had a time player, or even the seers, to help guide you...I think you could learn to control it.

There are thousands of "me" at home, and Dave as well. There's Rose, and there's Terezi. There's everything we need to change this timeline. It's just a matter of getting to it.

[ Granted, there's the whole thing with Jack and Lord English, but skipping around in time means not being late, and that can just...be put on hold. For a little while. ]

And the only way I've come up with to do that so far is for you to "win" the game. That's the only scenario in which everyone wins. If you graduate, you go home. If you go home, you can change things.

[ And, if you need it outright stated... ]

The only way to graduate is to get away with murder. The best way to get away with murder is to have the victim help the culprit. Don't you think? It'd be easier to stage the scene to get enough wrong votes to graduate.

[...why couldn't it have been earwax? John knew better, he knew he'd heard right the first time but...god how he'd hoped he hadn't.]

[Because she's right. And he knows it.]

[He's known since Monobear took over that he was perhaps the only one who could fix all this. And, likewise, from very early on, he'd known that there was really only one way to do it. He'd just opted not to acknowledge it because John Egbert does. not. kill people.]

[And yet here he was. Actually considering murdering someone he'd come to consider a friend. He wasn't sure if that made it worse or better.]

[Probably worse.]

Ha...haha...god.

[He inhales deeply, pushing his hands up his face, under his glasses, and through his hair before slapping them down on his thighs as he uncurls his legs.]

Why does this whole thing just have to be so...stupidly fucked up?

[That's...not exactly a no. Not an outright yes, either but definitely not a no.]

[ The fact that it isn't a no actually causes Aradia to relax, which it...shouldn't, probably. But her shoulders loosen, and she uncrosses her arms from around her legs, shifting to sit cross-legged instead and offering up a smile.

Not one of her wide, creepy ones (though she still hasn't exactly gotten over doing that, as John knows better than probably anyone), but a smaller one that seems markedly more genuine for it. ]

Because we didn't get marked down as "Super High School Level Good Luck"?

[ In this universe or the other.

Well, no. They both had escaped death back at home, hadn't they? Aradia tended to think of herself as lucky. She had done ever since she'd woken up, the fire burning her back to life. ]

...I don't really have an answer to that. I don't know how much more some of the others can take, though.

[ Each trial ends with more and more people starting to snap. Wasn't that what had caused the last trial? Maya had snapped. And this week...someone else probably would, too. And the week after, and the week after that...

There didn't seem to be any end to the game in sight, unless they ended it themselves. ]

I'd wager it's because Monobear is stupidly fucked up, though.

Understatement of the century there. I didn't even know it was possible for a stuffed toy to be insane. I almost feel like I should apologize to Dave for laughing at him about the damn puppets for all those years.

[John falls silent again, staring at his feet. Honestly, he's not sure how much more of this he can take. Granted, he'd sooner snap and kill himself than snap and kill somebody else. But he really doesn't want to do that either.]

[So maybe just...slowly go crazy. Again. Only in a much, much worse way than the boredom on the ship.]

You're right though. About everything...and I kind of hate that.

[He finally pulls his eyes away from his shoes and locking them on Aradia's instead.]

Because I don't want to kill you. Like I said, I am pretty sure I slightly misjudged you when we first met. And these past few weeks..as much as I hate almost everything that's happened, I've enjoyed getting to know you. And I'm pretty sure we're sort of friends now.

[Only sort of sure though, apparently. You know, maybe. Possibly.]

It's something to keep in mind for the next time you see him.

[ Though Dave's puppets probably weren't this murderous and crazy. Aradia's almost certain one of the others would have mentioned seeing something like that on their viewscreens. It's half a joke, half not.

As to the rest, well...it's not as though she wants to be right about this, either. Ideas about resetting things had been vague in the back of her mind since the first murder, and more recently the desire to get everyone out alive had been more pressing. It hadn't crystallized until recently.

Only sort of sure? Even if that's the case, that gets one of Aradia's wider, cheerier smiles. Which isn't at all matching with the mood, but... ]

I think of us as friends, too. The human kind, I mean. [ As in she doesn't even consider you an enemy, at all. ] I've spoken to doomed Johns before, but I don't think I would have called myself their friend. I like everyone here, you know, more or less. That's why I want them all to get home safely. And why I want us to get home safely.

[ And that's why she wants you to kill her. ...Their lives make no sense. ]

[Well yeah, only sort of because he wasn't sure if she returned the sentiment! Friendship is a two way street and he was kind of a rude jackass at first.]

Yeah. [Finally, he smiles a little bit too before looking back at his shoes.] I want that too, but...I just wish there was a way to do it that didn't involve be either directly or indirectly killing everyone else.

[He laughs lightly to himself. You wouldn't think something like NOT committing murder could make a person feel selfish. But John sure does feel that right now.]

[Why couldn't there be another way to do this? Why?]

But life isn't fair and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do, right? If nothing else, at least SBURB taught me that much.

[ That sounds like a yes. A reluctant yes, but, well. It wasn't as though Aradia had thought he'd be gung-ho about it when she pointed out there was a way back home and through all of the pitfalls Monobear kept throwing at them. ]

No, it isn't. [ Aradia laughs, low. ] SGRUB taught me that much.

[ As had dying. Dying had taught her a great deal. And she'd never wanted to repeat that lesson, but...in the end, dying was what she'd been made for. It seemed that way, at least. ]

...So, are we going to do this?

[ Because discussing it was one thing. Committing to it was another. ]

I... [His hands clench into a fist in the snow-sand and it's a wonder he hasn't burned holes into his shoes with that stare yet.]

Give me some time to think about it, okay? I just...

[The answer is going to be yes. He already knows that the answer is yes but he can't actually bring himself to say it just yet.]

Tomorrow morning. I'll give you my answer tomorrow morning. [He looks back at Aradia's face. She can probably tell what his answer is already. They've gotten pretty good at communicating without words, after all. Sometimes you only need your eyes for a conversation, not your mouth.]

Before breakfast, I'll meet you at your cabin, okay?

Of course. My door is always open. [ She stands up, then, because...well, leaving to his thoughts seems apt, although he gets a quirked smile after a second. ] Figuratively. It's actually locked because they do that automatically, but...well, you know.

[ Before she starts to leave, she does put a hand on his shoulder, a silent show of - support? Friendship? Knowing that this is a terrible solution to a terrible situation?

They've had enough silent conversations that she can read what he'll say in the morning, but...

As long as they stay focused on the outcome, it'll be all right. If she repeats that, she can believe it. ]

Don't stay out here too late. It's still a little chilly, and humans seem to get sick rather easily.

[Aradia may not have had the clearest intentions when placing her hand on John's shoulder, but the sentiment is enough. And he can take his own meaning from it. For John, it's all of those things, but most importantly: it's an anchor.]

[Because this is very real. He can't just try and pretend that this isn't happening anymore. That things will just get better if they really, really all try their hardest. Because the last few weeks have proven that it won't. Drastic times call for drastic measures.]

[And this is pretty goddamn drastic.]

[John raises his own sand-covered hand, resting it on top of hers briefly and giving it a small squeeze. Hopefully, he doesn't have to actually say that he appreciates it. This is enough, right?]

I won't, don't worry. If nothing else, I want to wash all this gross...snow-sand off of me before I go to bed. I'm suddenly glad that these two climates can't normally mix. Hehe...because this is kinda gross.

[He leans back and looks up at her, a completely unforced and genuine smile on his face as he slides his hand off of hers.]

I will be right behind you.

[ It's more than enough to get his meaning. And also sand on her hand, thank you, John. Aradia doesn't seem to mind, though; if anything, her return smile is the warmest and least creepy he's ever been lucky enough to see from her yet. ]

See you tomorrow, then.

[ And she will pchoooooo right out of there.

Or not really, since she isn't John. But she will take off, and all that can be seen of her then is the obvious red sparkling fairy dust trail her flight path leaves behind, to shimmer in the air for a few moments. ]

Yeah, definitely. Sleep tight.

[He waves a little as she flies off, watching the glitter drift through the air. He can't help but think about how oddly seasonally appropriate it is. And that just makes him laugh a little bit to himself.]

[Everything is fucked up, but somehow Christmas glitter is something that can still bring him some semblance of glee.]

[Or maybe he really has cracked, after all.]

[John stays on the beach for another five minutes before he takes off as well. He has every intention of hopping right in the shower but a certain note on is door stops him. Jimmy is upset, a shower can wait.]

[Sure enough though, the next morning John keeps to his word. He knocks on Aradia's door before breakfast. Shave and a haircut, two bits. Because he can't just knock on the door like a normal person.]

[ Unfortunately that knock is lost on her. She doesn't know the song, John. All the same, the door swings open almost immediately, though Aradia's not behind it.

The door is glowing red, and so is the girl currently sitting crosslegged on the bed she never uses except as a glorified chair, braiding her hair back. ]

Good morning, John! Think the supermarket is going to be back up and running again? We were sort of doing poorly on the food front, last week.

[ And preferably not human, she supposes.

...Given what he's here to talk about, that cheerful greeting isn't very mood-appropriate, but Aradia figures they can get down to business when the door is shut and eavesdropping can't be a thing.

Except by the dead, but. ]

[John closes the door behind him, moving to just kind of...float awkwardly in the middle of the room. Should he just make himself comfortable, or what? Given the subject matter, he's almost not sure if he wants to/should.]

God I hope so. I'm still kicking myself for not getting there before that whole mess to restock my sylladex.

[Because you should always carry snacks with you. Especially fruit snacks. This is the best use of sylladex space.]

Do you want some help with that?

[He gestures to her hair. Not that she's doing badly, but he always kind of figured braiding your own hair was harder than having someone else do it. That was sort of the impression he got from Jade.]

[Excellent. Small talk. Hair braiding. Good use of time that has nothing to do with talking about murder.]

I don't think it would have helped. I did restock my sylladex almost immediately before it closed, remember...? And none of the foodstuffs were there after.

[ She didn't think it was worth mentioning at the time because everyone was upset enough as it was. Though the only people who would have really understood how upsetting that was, to have something suddenly gone from your sylladex...well, John was one of those people.

The offer to help braid her hair - John, do you know how to do that...? - gets a bright smile, though, and she waves to the bed. ]

Yes, absolutely! I'm just trying to get it out of the way. There's so much of it. Maybe I should cut it or something, sometime...

[ Is John really going to braid her hair as they talk about murder, because she'll bring it up pretty soon if you don't, Egbert. ]

[Yes, he is apparently going to braid her hair while casually discussing murder. Because he's moving to sit down on the bed behind her and taking her hair in his hands.]

[And you'd be surprised what sort of skills a guy can pick up after three years on a ship with his sister. He sure hadn't known how to braid BEFORE that.]

Really? That's...

[Kind of disturbing? How did he get something out of Aradia's sylladex?]

I'm guessing none of the ghosts did anything, right? They weren't feeling oddly mischievous as ghosts sometimes are?

[Okay, apparently we're not talking about murder just yet. Gotta talk about food first. And start braiding. John, quit stalling it's not like you both don't already know the answer.]

[ Thanks in advance for that, Jade. Aradia drops her hands from her own attempt, letting them fall into her lap for the time being.

And yes, disturbing. That's exactly the word she was looking for. ]

No, not at all. They're all...very determined to help us succeed in beating Monobear, more or less.

[ Seriously, even the less helpful ghosts hate that guy.

Who's shocked by that news...? Which actually does help segue into this. ]

I'm not sure if they won't stop trying to help me soon, though. I think at least a few of them will definitely still help, but if I'm actively plotting something like that...Regardless of the reasoning.

[ Though at least half of them murdered people or plotted to murder people as well, so.

Honestly, she'd prefer to just let everyone on the island in on the plan if she thought they would 1) believe John and Aradia about Homestuck powers and 2) be willing to bet their lives on those and 3) if Monobear wouldn't intervene if they all tried to pull that off at the same time. ]

[Well, he walked right into that one. Oh well, he needed to stop beating around the bush anyway.]

Mmm...well. Luckily you're the only one who can hear them and we have my sylladex as far as storing relevant items will go. I make mistakes with mine sometimes, but at least I have more control over what comes and goes from it.

[Most of the time, anyway.]

[John falls silent, just working the three strands of her hair together for a little while.]

So...I guess that answers the question from last night then.

[...]

It's a yes.

[ And that's how the world ends (again). While two gods sit on a bed and John braids Aradia's hair.

All in all, probably not what anyone would have expected.

Aradia's silent for a little while, too, even after the confirmation. Although when she speaks up again, it's probably not with whatever John might have expected her to say first. ]

Let's avoid burning me alive, then. I think I've done that to the point of it being overdone. Or "well done"?

[ Like, once was pushing it, but then she did it twice and do we need a third time, really? ]

I mean, if we have to I suppose it's all right, but that's just a personal preference.

Edited 2014-01-03 22:08 (UTC)

[John's hands stop moving entirely.]

...did you really just?

[Inappropriate time for puns. Again. They really need to stop doing puns when murder is involved.]

I can't believe you, oh my god. [He's laughing a little bit in spite of himself, though, going back to braiding.]

But fine. No burning. No stabbing either. I know I probably don't have as much say, all things considered, but been there. Done that. I wouldn't wish it on anyone so I'm certainly not going to do it anyone.

[Once again, his hands stop moving. Though for different reasons this time.]

Do you have a hair tie?

[Apparently he's done.]

It seemed appropriate! At least, I saw it, and I couldn't help but say it? Is that weird?

[ A little bit, yes. But there's a grin on her face even if he can't see it, and she hears you laughing, John, so...

It's not a total waste.

She does pass back a hair tie - red, of course - upon being asked for it, with no fuss. ]

I think stabbing has also been rather done to death. Besides, most of us ought to know all the locations knives could come from at this point...so that might make it easy, which is the last thing we want to do.

So, no burning and no stabbing. We can always go and check out the new island to see if we get any inspiration that way.

[ No one ever wants them to get creative together ever again ever. ]

Nah. I mean...yes. But also no? Like it was a terrible time for a pun but at the same time I get it.

[Laughs are magic. Even terrible ones.]

[John takes the hair tie with a quiet word of thanks and wraps the end of her hair up. Ta da!]

Yeah We can do that after breakfast. It might look weird if we don't show up for that. [Since...they are among the people who always do show up.]

And...again, I shouldn't be making demands here but as much as I don't want to kill you, I want to hurt you even less so...

[So basically something relatively painless. You know, not horrifically violent but also hard for the others to figure out.]

John, you're allowed to have stipulations, too! This needs to be something you can get through the trial of.

[ Because if you don't graduate, this will be an entirely pointless endeavour that could have been avoided, man.

Like, wow. That would just suck. ]

You're right, it would. I was planning to go there after you got here and we talked, really.

[ Although...hm, going back to the stipulation thing. She's just bouncing around topics here. ]

We could attempt to drug me? I suppose? Then it shouldn't hurt. I'm still not really sure what would effect me from the pharmacy, though.

[ Honestly, she hadn't even considered that, but if it makes John feel better why not? ]

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