John Egbert (
toheirishuman) wrote in
sparepartsbox2013-12-27 10:28 pm
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Let's give the boy a hand.
[Another week, another murder, another twisted execution. Three weeks this had gone on now, and it was getting harder and harder to stay positive about it. At the end of every trial, John always told himself that this would be the last time. That it wouldn't, couldn't happen again. And every Friday, he was proven wrong.]
[Why was it always Friday, anyway?]
[He guessed, on the plus side, a majority of them had been accidents. That was...heartening sort of, he guessed. At least most of them hadn't actually been cold-blooded killers.]
[He wasn't sure if anybody had some kind of post-trial cheer up planned this week. But frankly, he didn't really care. Unlike last week, there was no uncertainty in John's mind over whether or not he wanted to be alone for a while. The answer to that was "absolutely." So once they're released from Monobear rock, John immediately takes to the skies. He doesn't really have a particular destination in mind, so when he winds up on Chandler Beach he has no real complaints.]
[He lands in the sand, immediately curling up on himself. And for a while, he stays like that. Just curled up in a ball on a private beach on an island where technically all the beaches are private because NOBODY LIVES here but you know what...]
[But eventually, the ball method of coping stops helping. Actually, it only takes about five minutes for John to jump to his feet and start angrily shouting at the sky. Mostly indistinct, angry swears at nothing in particular. And all those rocks and shells he's been saving up in his sylladex ever since he got it back are finally coming in handy. Because he sure is hurling them as hard as he can into the ocean. Thisis one heck of a temper tantrum he's throwing at...the moon. Since there's nobody else here.]
[As usual though, his tantrum doesn't last long. He burns himself out even faster than he got bored of the ball method.]
FUCK!!!
[With that final swear, the loudest of all of them, John flops backwards into the sand. His glasses go flying, landing in the sand a few feet away but John gives precisely zero fucks about that. It actually makes it easier for him to cover the top half of his face with his arm as he lays there, panting and resisting the urge to just start crying in frustration now.]
[He regrets ever complaining about his time on the ship now. He'd take that over this hellhole of an island any day.]
[Why was it always Friday, anyway?]
[He guessed, on the plus side, a majority of them had been accidents. That was...heartening sort of, he guessed. At least most of them hadn't actually been cold-blooded killers.]
[He wasn't sure if anybody had some kind of post-trial cheer up planned this week. But frankly, he didn't really care. Unlike last week, there was no uncertainty in John's mind over whether or not he wanted to be alone for a while. The answer to that was "absolutely." So once they're released from Monobear rock, John immediately takes to the skies. He doesn't really have a particular destination in mind, so when he winds up on Chandler Beach he has no real complaints.]
[He lands in the sand, immediately curling up on himself. And for a while, he stays like that. Just curled up in a ball on a private beach on an island where technically all the beaches are private because NOBODY LIVES here but you know what...]
[But eventually, the ball method of coping stops helping. Actually, it only takes about five minutes for John to jump to his feet and start angrily shouting at the sky. Mostly indistinct, angry swears at nothing in particular. And all those rocks and shells he's been saving up in his sylladex ever since he got it back are finally coming in handy. Because he sure is hurling them as hard as he can into the ocean. Thisis one heck of a temper tantrum he's throwing at...the moon. Since there's nobody else here.]
[As usual though, his tantrum doesn't last long. He burns himself out even faster than he got bored of the ball method.]
FUCK!!!
[With that final swear, the loudest of all of them, John flops backwards into the sand. His glasses go flying, landing in the sand a few feet away but John gives precisely zero fucks about that. It actually makes it easier for him to cover the top half of his face with his arm as he lays there, panting and resisting the urge to just start crying in frustration now.]
[He regrets ever complaining about his time on the ship now. He'd take that over this hellhole of an island any day.]
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[ Though Dave's puppets probably weren't this murderous and crazy. Aradia's almost certain one of the others would have mentioned seeing something like that on their viewscreens. It's half a joke, half not.
As to the rest, well...it's not as though she wants to be right about this, either. Ideas about resetting things had been vague in the back of her mind since the first murder, and more recently the desire to get everyone out alive had been more pressing. It hadn't crystallized until recently.
Only sort of sure? Even if that's the case, that gets one of Aradia's wider, cheerier smiles. Which isn't at all matching with the mood, but... ]
I think of us as friends, too. The human kind, I mean. [ As in she doesn't even consider you an enemy, at all. ] I've spoken to doomed Johns before, but I don't think I would have called myself their friend. I like everyone here, you know, more or less. That's why I want them all to get home safely. And why I want us to get home safely.
[ And that's why she wants you to kill her. ...Their lives make no sense. ]
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Yeah. [Finally, he smiles a little bit too before looking back at his shoes.] I want that too, but...I just wish there was a way to do it that didn't involve be either directly or indirectly killing everyone else.
[He laughs lightly to himself. You wouldn't think something like NOT committing murder could make a person feel selfish. But John sure does feel that right now.]
[Why couldn't there be another way to do this? Why?]
But life isn't fair and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do, right? If nothing else, at least SBURB taught me that much.
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No, it isn't. [ Aradia laughs, low. ] SGRUB taught me that much.
[ As had dying. Dying had taught her a great deal. And she'd never wanted to repeat that lesson, but...in the end, dying was what she'd been made for. It seemed that way, at least. ]
...So, are we going to do this?
[ Because discussing it was one thing. Committing to it was another. ]
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Give me some time to think about it, okay? I just...
[The answer is going to be yes. He already knows that the answer is yes but he can't actually bring himself to say it just yet.]
Tomorrow morning. I'll give you my answer tomorrow morning. [He looks back at Aradia's face. She can probably tell what his answer is already. They've gotten pretty good at communicating without words, after all. Sometimes you only need your eyes for a conversation, not your mouth.]
Before breakfast, I'll meet you at your cabin, okay?
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[ Before she starts to leave, she does put a hand on his shoulder, a silent show of - support? Friendship? Knowing that this is a terrible solution to a terrible situation?
They've had enough silent conversations that she can read what he'll say in the morning, but...
As long as they stay focused on the outcome, it'll be all right. If she repeats that, she can believe it. ]
Don't stay out here too late. It's still a little chilly, and humans seem to get sick rather easily.
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[Because this is very real. He can't just try and pretend that this isn't happening anymore. That things will just get better if they really, really all try their hardest. Because the last few weeks have proven that it won't. Drastic times call for drastic measures.]
[And this is pretty goddamn drastic.]
[John raises his own sand-covered hand, resting it on top of hers briefly and giving it a small squeeze. Hopefully, he doesn't have to actually say that he appreciates it. This is enough, right?]
I won't, don't worry. If nothing else, I want to wash all this gross...snow-sand off of me before I go to bed. I'm suddenly glad that these two climates can't normally mix. Hehe...because this is kinda gross.
[He leans back and looks up at her, a completely unforced and genuine smile on his face as he slides his hand off of hers.]
I will be right behind you.
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See you tomorrow, then.
[ And she will pchoooooo right out of there.
Or not really, since she isn't John. But she will take off, and all that can be seen of her then is the obvious red sparkling fairy dust trail her flight path leaves behind, to shimmer in the air for a few moments. ]
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[He waves a little as she flies off, watching the glitter drift through the air. He can't help but think about how oddly seasonally appropriate it is. And that just makes him laugh a little bit to himself.]
[Everything is fucked up, but somehow Christmas glitter is something that can still bring him some semblance of glee.]
[Or maybe he really has cracked, after all.]
[John stays on the beach for another five minutes before he takes off as well. He has every intention of hopping right in the shower but a certain note on is door stops him. Jimmy is upset, a shower can wait.]
[Sure enough though, the next morning John keeps to his word. He knocks on Aradia's door before breakfast. Shave and a haircut, two bits. Because he can't just knock on the door like a normal person.]
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The door is glowing red, and so is the girl currently sitting crosslegged on the bed she never uses except as a glorified chair, braiding her hair back. ]
Good morning, John! Think the supermarket is going to be back up and running again? We were sort of doing poorly on the food front, last week.
[ And preferably not human, she supposes.
...Given what he's here to talk about, that cheerful greeting isn't very mood-appropriate, but Aradia figures they can get down to business when the door is shut and eavesdropping can't be a thing.
Except by the dead, but. ]
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God I hope so. I'm still kicking myself for not getting there before that whole mess to restock my sylladex.
[Because you should always carry snacks with you. Especially fruit snacks. This is the best use of sylladex space.]
Do you want some help with that?
[He gestures to her hair. Not that she's doing badly, but he always kind of figured braiding your own hair was harder than having someone else do it. That was sort of the impression he got from Jade.]
[Excellent. Small talk. Hair braiding. Good use of time that has nothing to do with talking about murder.]
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[ She didn't think it was worth mentioning at the time because everyone was upset enough as it was. Though the only people who would have really understood how upsetting that was, to have something suddenly gone from your sylladex...well, John was one of those people.
The offer to help braid her hair - John, do you know how to do that...? - gets a bright smile, though, and she waves to the bed. ]
Yes, absolutely! I'm just trying to get it out of the way. There's so much of it. Maybe I should cut it or something, sometime...
[ Is John really going to braid her hair as they talk about murder, because she'll bring it up pretty soon if you don't, Egbert. ]
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[And you'd be surprised what sort of skills a guy can pick up after three years on a ship with his sister. He sure hadn't known how to braid BEFORE that.]
Really? That's...
[Kind of disturbing? How did he get something out of Aradia's sylladex?]
I'm guessing none of the ghosts did anything, right? They weren't feeling oddly mischievous as ghosts sometimes are?
[Okay, apparently we're not talking about murder just yet. Gotta talk about food first. And start braiding. John, quit stalling it's not like you both don't already know the answer.]
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And yes, disturbing. That's exactly the word she was looking for. ]
No, not at all. They're all...very determined to help us succeed in beating Monobear, more or less.
[ Seriously, even the less helpful ghosts hate that guy.
Who's shocked by that news...? Which actually does help segue into this. ]
I'm not sure if they won't stop trying to help me soon, though. I think at least a few of them will definitely still help, but if I'm actively plotting something like that...Regardless of the reasoning.
[ Though at least half of them murdered people or plotted to murder people as well, so.
Honestly, she'd prefer to just let everyone on the island in on the plan if she thought they would 1) believe John and Aradia about Homestuck powers and 2) be willing to bet their lives on those and 3) if Monobear wouldn't intervene if they all tried to pull that off at the same time. ]
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Mmm...well. Luckily you're the only one who can hear them and we have my sylladex as far as storing relevant items will go. I make mistakes with mine sometimes, but at least I have more control over what comes and goes from it.
[Most of the time, anyway.]
[John falls silent, just working the three strands of her hair together for a little while.]
So...I guess that answers the question from last night then.
[...]
It's a yes.
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All in all, probably not what anyone would have expected.
Aradia's silent for a little while, too, even after the confirmation. Although when she speaks up again, it's probably not with whatever John might have expected her to say first. ]
Let's avoid burning me alive, then. I think I've done that to the point of it being overdone. Or "well done"?
[ Like, once was pushing it, but then she did it twice and do we need a third time, really? ]
I mean, if we have to I suppose it's all right, but that's just a personal preference.
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...did you really just?
[Inappropriate time for puns. Again. They really need to stop doing puns when murder is involved.]
I can't believe you, oh my god. [He's laughing a little bit in spite of himself, though, going back to braiding.]
But fine. No burning. No stabbing either. I know I probably don't have as much say, all things considered, but been there. Done that. I wouldn't wish it on anyone so I'm certainly not going to do it anyone.
[Once again, his hands stop moving. Though for different reasons this time.]
Do you have a hair tie?
[Apparently he's done.]
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[ A little bit, yes. But there's a grin on her face even if he can't see it, and she hears you laughing, John, so...
It's not a total waste.
She does pass back a hair tie - red, of course - upon being asked for it, with no fuss. ]
I think stabbing has also been rather done to death. Besides, most of us ought to know all the locations knives could come from at this point...so that might make it easy, which is the last thing we want to do.
So, no burning and no stabbing. We can always go and check out the new island to see if we get any inspiration that way.
[ No one ever wants them to get creative together ever again ever. ]
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[Laughs are magic. Even terrible ones.]
[John takes the hair tie with a quiet word of thanks and wraps the end of her hair up. Ta da!]
Yeah We can do that after breakfast. It might look weird if we don't show up for that. [Since...they are among the people who always do show up.]
And...again, I shouldn't be making demands here but as much as I don't want to kill you, I want to hurt you even less so...
[So basically something relatively painless. You know, not horrifically violent but also hard for the others to figure out.]
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[ Because if you don't graduate, this will be an entirely pointless endeavour that could have been avoided, man.
Like, wow. That would just suck. ]
You're right, it would. I was planning to go there after you got here and we talked, really.
[ Although...hm, going back to the stipulation thing. She's just bouncing around topics here. ]
We could attempt to drug me? I suppose? Then it shouldn't hurt. I'm still not really sure what would effect me from the pharmacy, though.
[ Honestly, she hadn't even considered that, but if it makes John feel better why not? ]
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[That would have been simple, relatively hard to trace...maybe painless? Possibly? John's never been poisoned, he isn't sure.]
Well, maybe we can do a little experimenting before hand. We probably shouldn't try and kill you WITH some kind of drug. Just in case we accidentally...do it with a half baked plan, you know? So maybe just find something to knock you out, then do something else...
[Wow they are actually talking about this. This is happening.]
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[ Like maybe they should just avoid that?
Just in case?
They are trying so hard, here. ]
Though obviously we shouldn't report taking anything from there to Usami.
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[Coulson and Locke. Wow. He still doesn't really like talking about that one, good to know.]
Especially since, you know... [He wiggles his fingers in front of his face and makes some silly 'pew pew!!' rocket ship type noises.] Your whole telekinesis thing.
[He may have his MANGRIT back now, but he's pretty sure that won't stand a chance against crazy psionic telekinesis powers.]
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[ ...Actually, you know what, she doesn't want to talk about that one either, although by this point he has a run down on the ways she died and all because of other threads, so.
And while he hast MANGRIT, something using super strength would probably be really suspicious, so...not that. ]
We have time to sort of mess around with that and find something that works, though. We should probably shoot for before the weekend, and before...
[ Well, people always die on Friday, and if that is the case it better be her this time. The other murderers and murderees can just get in line, and then they will make that line never exist. What could go wrong? ]
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[Sure enough, a visit to the fourth island gave them just the inspiration they'd been hoping for. It had been an offhanded joke at first; pulling a Snidely Whiplash and tying Aradia to the coaster tracks. And somehow, by the end of the day, that was their actual plan. Clearly it was brilliant. It was indirect, he could drug her beforehand so she hopefully wouldn't feel it, it was bizarre and how the hell could anybody figure out how it had been done?]
[They'd take one of basically every sedative from the Pharmacy and spent several days testing, eventually finding one that would knock Aradia out so fully that he death would basically be painless. They'd figured out a way to put weight in the car to be sure that it ACTUALLY killed her and didn't do a half assed job.]
[But they didn't stop there. They could make it nigh impossible to solve with a little unwitting help from Madison. Just telekinetically steal her bracelet, get some of her hair from a chair in the retaurant, leave an empty vodka bottle in Aradia's cottage with a fake drugged water bottle...]
[It would look like Madison had invited herself over for drinks, drugged Aradia, dragged her off and tied her to a coaster. Madison wasn't Jimmy, people might actually BELIEVE this frame job.]
[By the time Thursday night rolled around, everything was perfectly in place. And as far as they knew, none of the other students were any the wiser as to what they'd actually been doing. John waited until the dead of night to make his way over to Aradia's cottage, sylladex full of everything they needed. He rapped very lightly on the door, the same tune as always. Even if Aradia didn't get it (and truthfully, John had no idea where it originated from either) it had become a useful signal.]
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It shouldn't take too long. They've planned everything out as best they can. They had to account for everything they could, in order to, well...get John to graduate.
And then save everyone. You can't do something half-assed with that goal in mind.
Of course, being sedated nearly every night had been a pain (especially when it didn't work, and some of them were just plain weird) and the ghostly commentary wasn't always welcome, but...well, it was finally the last night. And hopefully this would make everything right again. She'd have done what she was made to do, once again.
It's only after John gets shooed inside and the door shuts again that Aradia speaks. ]
I finished up everything on my end!
[ Meaning...well, she hadn't mentioned the thing Mukuro wanted her to do, because they were going to win this, but she'd done it anyway. So she just meant "loose ends", here. ]
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